A New Territory

When making jewelry, the majority of my time is usually taken up by metalsmithing. Although I enjoy every aspect and all the steps of creating a piece, working with metal sheets particularly happens to be a very favorite part of it all. The jeweler's saw is my most favorite tool, and I use it quite often.

Lately, however, something strange happened. I think I must have developed some sort of a new sensitivity towards metal. The sound of the friction when sawing through it is getting to me, and the smell of it, even when only filing or sanding, is making me nauseous. 

I suppose moving back to the loud city from the quiet mountains, the overwhelm of sounds and lights, adjusting to the fast pace of life, the thick heavy air, also the frequent alarming world news of late, must have all contributed. Making jewelry is somehow a nervous system regulator for me, so not being able to access that because of the nerves themselves is a real cripple. 

In an attempt to find a solution, even if only a temporary one - for I sure hope that this new sensitivity is a passing phenomena - I ventured into a new territory. I got myself clay to work and experiment with. 

I found the touch of clay to be very soothing. The somewhat earthly smell, the texture, and the whole process of shaping it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I struggled with the freedom I had with it at the start, I usually need structure when working with tangible art creations. The more resistance I was feeling rising up inside me, the more I knew I needed to push myself in that very direction. 

I experimented with few shapes and some basic designs, it was a far call from the stiffness of hard metals, which, ironically, is usually easier for me to work with. I felt like a child who hasn't been given the green light to play freely, always watching her back and tip toeing around a very restrictive constitutional existence. I had to remind myself that I'm a free creative adult, with choices and options, and that I shan't have fear of consequences, nor room for judgments. 

Whether or not I'll be incorporating any of this into my jewelry making is another story, but for now, I'm allowing the playful nature of the material to crack me open and out of the stiffness of my pains, and bring me back to the flow and ease of the creative realm.

Next up should be the coloring, I am already feeling apprehensive about it all. Color mixing isn't my forte, and although color therapy is a real thing, the messiness of the paints can have a counter effect on me usually.

I shall see if peace is to be had again, if I push myself out of my old comfort zones.